Monday, July 26, 2010

Comma is a Bitch

"Comma is sucha bitch"-(DANIELLE)-scene from last week's episode.

"We're gonna play now"-(GIA)
The GIUDICE family is playing MONOPOLY.
"I'm gonna buy da Boardwawk."-(JOE)
"We been married ten years, so what are you doin' for me?"-(TERESA)
She says that it better be big.
"EuYEW kissy-poo"-(GIA) screams when Joe & TERESA kiss.

"Amazingly, I've never had a birthday party thrown for me."-(DANIELLE) Talking about how nobody ever gave her a party 'till this year.
"Then I came-up with the idea of donating the a charity."-(CHRISTINE)
They're planning a sweet-sixteen party. Of course they have a party-planner.

JACKIE is talking to CAROLINE about KIM G.
CAROLINE says the decision not to have lunch with KIM G. was because KIM G. is a "Window" to DANIELLE.
They talk about how two-faced KIM G. is. And how DANIELLE doesn't know that JACKIE and KIM G. talk. And how pissed DANIELLE is going to be when she finds-out.
CAROLINE reminds JACKY that ASHLEY is in some real serious trouble with the law, and that JACKIE'S priority has to be ASHLEY.

They talk about the anniversary.
CHRIS advises JOE to "Get her a fugazi." (NJ for "fake diamond?")

ALBIE is a Passaic County special deputy police officer in-training.

DANIELLE says, "I must be doin' sumptin right."-(DANIELLE)
She talks about CHRISTINE'S career as a model, and somehow manages to mispronounce "Japan".
 "You need to do it."-DANIELLE
DANIELLE keeps calling JILLIAN an "artist".
JILLIAN manages to squeak-out a few lines of her song, She rhymes "me", with, "family".
She has a sweet little kid voice, but she's also as off-key as just about every other 11 year old kid. Maybe even a little more than averagely off-key.
"Do I believe that JILLIAN can become a rockstar or a popstar? Yeah, I do."-(DANIELLE)

Its time for the anniversary surprize.
JOE has a driver.
They arrive at a helicopter. They take a ride.
Then they go to the "W" hotel, they have a private dinner in a suite.
In the chocolate desert, is a gaudy ring. Some huge, ugly yellow thing. TERESA describes it as a diamond.
OH no--they're on the bed.
THANK-GOD the scene stopped right there.

"IF she knew that it is over 300 people then I think she would be even more nervous."-(DANIELLE)
She goes-on to say how important CHRISTINE'S party is to them all. That their life is going to start now, or some other BS. That they are going to heal from, "what happened."
DANIELLE talks to her girls about wearing her engagement ring because she's getting dressed-up.
She says that she hasn't worn it in a year-and-a-half.
She says that it doesn't have any meaning for her anymore, that its just jewelry.
Seven great big diamond carats of jewelry.
Her EX and his new wife are invited.

"Mom, I'm 11, I don't wear heels."-(JILLIAN)
"Suri cruise wears heels"-( DANIELLE'S friend.)
"I'm not her, I'm me."-(JILLIAN)
OK, JILLIAN may not have any great talent for singing or songwriting but she is my new favorite character on this show.

JACKIE drives ASHLEY to pick-up her summons. ASHLEY is laughing while she reads the charges. JACKIE asks her if she has learned anything.,
"Do you get it?"-(JACKIE)
"Its not a joke."-(JACKIE)
ASHLEY says that she wants to counter-sue DANIELLE.
JACKIE says she kind-of wonders where she's going to get the money to do that.

KIM G. makes a bee-line for the ring.
She asks if the new wife has one as nice.
DANIELLE'S EX & his WIFE arrive.
They're nice!
JILLIAN'S stomach hurts.
OK-she makes it to the stage. She sings her song about, "We are sisters."
Its cute.
In case anyone was thinking that JILLIAN might be the "next Miley Cyrus."-(DANIELLE) , well, she's not.
JILLIAN may have as much talent as MILEY, but it sure isn't in singing, and/or song-writing.
"It was critical that you be here for this."-(DANIELLE to her ex TOM)
"I am the best mom in the world."-(DANIELLE)
No DANIELLE you most certainly are not.
You're not ever a very good mom. You are a what's known as a "bad" mom.
For putting your children on television and yourself, in the first place.
Do you really think a good mother, with the kind of secrets that you had, should expose her children to the world on television?
And do the kinds of things that you did on television. AND then sell your sex-video.

"We keep saying don't put anything on the internet."-(JACKIE)
"I'm tired of her disrespectful mouth."-(JACKIE)
"OK bye"-(ASHLEY)

The last episode of Watch WHAT HAPPENS LIVE
ANDY doesn't deny that KIM G. could be the "new HOUSEWIFE."
KIM G. says that DANIELLE, "Can't be a friend."
BETHENNY says that KIM G. is "like a termite."  who chewed her way into the show.