Monday, May 10, 2010

Episode I, Season II, setting us up for Fashion Week Showdown

DANIELLE is rockin' a serious mustache in the opening.

DANIELLE quotes THERESA  to KARIN her real estate agent, she "Love, loves" KARIN'S CGBD (?)PUCCI-inspired dress.
DANIELLE tells us that her EX will get half of the proceeds of the home that she must sell.
It was 2 million, now it's listed for 1 point 4,95.
DANIELLE wants everyone to know how important she knows that being clean, "down there", is, by pointing-out her bidet', that is set-up to look-like she takes a bath there quite often.
DINA says that she "Feels terrible.", for DANIELLE. And her children. She says that she, "Hopes she gets the help that she needs." (financial help?)
DANIELLE says that she's counting on her KARIN to get her out of there.

CAROLINE, JACKIE, and THERESA are having lunch. They're having Pear & Gorgonzola salad, with Bloody Mary & Peligrino water.
"We don't see each other at all", "I don't have a problem with her.", "We're gonna be peaceful acquaintances." (-JACKIE)
They talk about DANIELLE'S children.
"Socially, they're awkward." (CAROLINE). They say that DANIELLE'S daughters don't have the right kind-of look in their eyes, like they're lifeless, or not innocent-looking.
JACKIE says, "That's not nice."
She doesn't want to talk about people's children.
This is the part where we're wondering how everyone feels about that now, after what DANIELLE wrote in her BRAVO BLOG last week about JACKIE'S daughter.

Then they get serious and bring-up the kidnapping.CAROLINE says the line that we're going to keep hearing. "You hang around garbage, you start to stink."
They tell Jackie that she is "the weakest link.", that she's being used to get closer to THE MANZO'S.

They say that DANIELLE has threatened them by saying that she, (DANIELLE), was going to come-after them, and she wasn't coming alone.

CAROLINE'S kids look like they're going to make some sausage & peppers, then they start a food fight. CHRIS is wearing a shirt that says "Girls don't Poop".
ALBIE says that "Its a little weird.", that his friend VITO is dating his sister.

ASHLEY brings-over some laundry in garbage-bags. She tells her mom that she can get into clubs. JACKIE tells her that she loves her, and tries to give her some safety information about designated drivers. ASHLEY walks-away. They start arguing louder. JACKIE wants an answer, JACKIE tells ASHLEY to leave, "And take your laundry."
Really stupid move ASHLEY!, You just blew your chance to tell mom that a limo would solve the problem.

CHRISTINE, DANIELLE'S 16 yo is going to be a model. She's been "scouted". DANIELLE talks about how great this is. Little sis, JILLIAN is not impressed.  "Then we'll get another big house eventu-a-lee." Does e--nun-ci-A-ting every single syllable, do something magical to your words DANIELLE? Or give them some kind-of substance other than the thin-air that they're made out of?

JACKIE & DINA are baby-shopping for THERESA. JACKIE tells DINA that ASHLEY moved-out. "She moved-in with her friend."
 JACKIE says that she wants to help ASHLEY, but that ASHLEY doesn't want to hear anything she has to say.

DINA says that ASHLEY should see what its really like, paying her bills... Then she suggests "a good-old-fashioned beating."

DINA looks so gorgeous while she's describing an Italian-style beat-down, that she probably has people volunteering for one right now.
JACKIE doesn't think so., "I created this monster." OK so JACKIE does read the BRAVO BLOGS, 'cause I'm pretty sure that that's where she got that line.

GIA and THERESA are at THINK PR agency auditioning for a fashion-show for ELLE magazine. GIA says that she's been in pageants with 3, or 4 hundred people before. She lists her resume'. GIA'S not a triple-threat, she's done all that, plus Karate' and more.
They cut to DANIELLE saying that GIA is "not a supermodel.", and that she doesn't know if GIA "has what it takes."

Unlike DANIELLE"S CHRISTINE, who's busy actually being a super-model. CHRISTINE says that DANIELLE is "annoying." DANIELLE is gushing, and commenting on the sidelines, "We're so blessed."... She tells KELLY'S EX, GIL BENSIMON FROM REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NY, that he's "GOD."

GIL says that he wants to SHOOT DANIELLE. (for a photograph, darn!). Then DANIELLE gets invited to pose with CHRISTINE, and they Slap SOME LIPSTICK ON A PIG?, and take some ugly pictures. DANIELLE says that she'll "Always be a part of whatever CHRISTINE does." in her fashion career.

VITO & ALBIE hash it out. He tells VITO that he broke "The first rule of friendship.", by dating his sister. ALBIE'S gay friend tells VITO to be a gentleman.

DANIELLE is at IMG MODELS on PARK AVE, She says, "IVAN BART is an icon." "First photo-shoot, we're talking cover."
CHRISTINE makes the cover of an industry mag., THE DAILY. DANIELLE informs us that there's also a 5-page spread inside.
DANIELLE says that IVAN BART thinks that CHRISTINE has what it takes to be a top model. They say that CHRISTINE should take it slow, because of her young age, but they want her to walk in Fashion Week, and ask DANIELLE if she's ready to go to MILAN. DANIELLE is ready to go to MILAN.

BABY NICK doesn't like his outfit so he cries. I don't blame him. He's wearing some neo-hardcore crap. At least that's one cast member who dosen't want to be a fashion icon!
They talk about Thersa's "puffy chuckie.", and how GROSS-ICK, YEWWWW her lady-parts are.

DANIELLE wants to have a celebration luncheon for the magazine cover. She & her girls talk about who to invite. CHRISTINE says, "Not CAROLINE."  DINA sent DANIELLE a congratulation text when she heard about CHRISTINE'S good news. DANIELLE invites JACKIE & DINA. They say that they can't come. DANIELLE starts to look reptilian.

GIA gets her big break too. GIA'S going to model in fashion week too!

DANIELLE is having her luncheon. "Most importantly, KIM D."-(DANIELLE), DINA tells us that DANIELLE invited people who she ran-into in the supermarket.
CHRISTINE let's us know that her mom's luncheon isn't for her, (CHRISTINE), but for DANIELLE to brag about CHRISTINE. CHRISTINE seems fine with that.

The empty seat beside DANIELLE, who is seated at the head of the table, and JACKIE'S empty seat, are mentioned. "I was warned to stay away from KIM G., because she belonged to CAROLINE." -(DANIELLE), KIM G. is not friends with CAROLINE, she says to DANIELLE, "You're my friend." DANIELLE says "I'm not passive, and I'm not aggressive.", and then some BS about "light and love", and bla, bla, bla. But she had already turned back into a reptile by this point, so it sounded like she was saying, "SSSSssssssss.".